1. |
Gyroscope
02:45
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I’ve been told i have a gyroscope in my wrist
Drawing best on rocky Wisco roads,
Clawing through the mist
Midwest persistence, the Factory’s foreman
Is taking down orders that are somehow predetermined
Pass all the gutted drug busts
On the outskirts of town
It’s funny how few eyes bat at the rusting
Hinges anymore, torn down
By the need for a little bit of linen
Aren’t we all just junkies trying to fit in?
Steady hand on the wheel
Steady foot on the gas
Steady fog at my heels
Steady rain on the glass
Like hey, I'm not proud that I still
Think cigarettes look cool,
Even growing up with all those specials after school
Retraining the brain of a whole generation
Takes more than a couple Charlie Brown animations
I was always told I was old for my age
As a kid, reading Dante under vanities backstage
As a teenager, fighting against her own brain
I lived two lives since age twelve,
and thrived on the pain
Not even old enough to drink and I run this damn show
Just a formality really, but still, hurt’s a skill, man, you know
I thrive under pressure,
I keep the kiln hot
Throw me in any way you please
I don't break I don't rot
Steady hand on the wheel
Steady foot on the gas
Steady fog at my heels
Steady rain on the glass
You toss and you turn
Plan my ash for your urn
But i burn and I learn
How to earn, how to spurn
Unwanted advances
From checks I can't cash
The ash rose from the phoenix this time,
Coughed out from his hand rolled leaf of hash
And the point still stands
West, toward the Badlands,
Got my foot on the pedal,
And my head in my hands
But only alone do I let the needle settle
True north is subjective
To the whim of God and Devil
Steady hand on the wheel
Steady foot on the gas
Steady fog at my heels
I’m not looking back
It’s funny how often your first instincts are right;
So I drive east, instead,
Into the oncoming night
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2. |
Rorschach
02:47
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how you’re perceived
Informs who you are
And the way that you are
Informs the way you’re perceived
And I learned alot about it hangin on to the eves
of older artists’ conversations
And acting on the offbeats
And if I'm really honest
Never thought I’d get this far
Never thought I’d be breathing
Even if its just between bars
And sometimes to be real
You gotta put on a face
And sometime just to feel
You gotta learn the razor blade
I tried so hard to be a product;
just the way i was taught
But I'm not
I'm what you make of me:
A coffee stain, an ink blot.
There’s blood on the wall
I think it looks like yours
You think it looks like mine
Who’s to say who’s right
It’s all just symbols and signs
If you perceive you confine
If you believe you consign
don't say the first thing that comes to your mind
So you lose another friend
Just to gain another fiction
People say its hard to get to know you
Well how y’all think I feel?
Careful kid, self deprecation turns to
self medication
Faster than you could say
One nation under god-
Damn the human infatuation
With labels and breaking them
As soon as you lay stake in one
Its faded from the flaming sun
Circles are my game
I find comfort in confusion
Everything is a smooth plane
Unless it’s a protrusion
I find clarity in illusions
Eloquence in corruption
I'm the adduction and abduction
Always wrong about my own assumptions
And as for a name?
Well it’s never quite the same
There’s blood on the wall
I think it looks like yours
You think it looks like mine
Who’s to say who’s right
It’s all just symbols and signs
If you perceive you confine
If you believe you consign
There’s blood on the walls
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3. |
Ophelia
05:39
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I think Ophelia was kissed nineteen times
One for every year she was alive
If I’ve counted right
She might just could cope
With the command to elope
with the water dripping down her lungs
I think Ophelia was loved by the best
Clutched fingers of her lovers to her chest
And lay to rest
The whole breadth and scope
Of her dreams and her hopes
She’d been unsung
And I swore i’d never write a song about Ophelia
About Ophelia
What a trite trope of a phrase
A slight slope of the chaise
Behind the settee
It’s just her and him and me
The tightrope of a misanthrope and her allotrope “Mo Chride”
I think Ophelia is misunderstood
A Watergirl in a world made for wood
Did what she could
Those magpies do squawk
And they gossip and gawk
And she loves them so
I think Ophelia found peace in the moon
The tides that turned over the waves of her tomb
Some called it doom
But she called it love
Or some version thereof
Like letting go
Oh, Phee precedes proscenium
And she exceeds milenia
But all that youthful wisdom comes at a premium
All you young unsung sharp tongued teens who
Fling your flings like falling leaves
Believe me when I see what she perceives
So many drowned Ophelias
Some in Gitchegumee, some in whiskey, some in tea
The inevitability
of a lover living still
Is that the will becomes so strong it itself fulfills
The summer I was Ophelia
My hair was dark like molasses
I watched the world on its axis tip and turn
And she was wide-eyed and worry-prone
And by August I was all alone
I swore never again
But every time I tried to run away
The tide pulled me back to bend
To their perception
my reflection
In the knife blade in her white knuckles
I buckle
And I swore I’d never write a song about Ophelia
About Ophelia
What a trite trope of a phrase
The slight slope of the chaise
Behind the settee
It’s just her and him and me
The lonesome child who wanders wild in her static so pristine
Lean into the tide
Lean into the tide
Don't fight it’s gonna be alright
In precis:
I'm drowning in Ophelia
And so Ophelia I’ll be.
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4. |
nye
04:49
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New years eve
I skinned my knee
I bled all over the front seat
Of your car
You drove me home
At four AM
Empty cans
Stashed in the trunk
We threw them out in
our highschool dump
You drove me home
At four AM
Summertime
Sometime in June
We smoked inside of
A pueblo shoe
I skinned my knee
But that was fine
You gave me a golden ginkgo leaf
Told me I was strong like the ginkgo tree
Cause I, too, grew
In the big mean city
Where the only currency
Is one’s resiliency
Home from school
Just one term in
You picked me up
And asked how i’d been
Id been a wreck
I said “I'm fine”
Your girlfriend
Drove up to stay
Just for over the holiday
Our friends approved
And I did too
You gave me a golden ginkgo leaf
Told me I was strong like the ginkgo tree
Cause I, too, grew
In the big mean city
Where the only currency
Is one’s resiliency
I thought back
To how we were
New years eve
Steeped in peach liqueur
You dropped me off
Said “till next time”
So we’ll part ways
Until next time
So we’ll part ways
And that’s just fine.
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5. |
Room to Breathe
02:55
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I need a little room to breathe
I need a little room to breathe
I need a little room to breathe
Don't follow me
These past few months
Have been underwater
Can't hear, can't see for the life of me
My hands won’t write
Or draw or play
I just pass through
Day after day
Some listless garment in the rain
A hollow heart
A heavy brain
I need a little room to breathe
I need a little room to breathe
I need a little room to breathe
Don't follow me
There’s this girl who
Hits me up a couple times a week
We get fucked up
We swim, we sink
But I'm not for her
And she’s not for me
We’ve both gotta breathe
I need a little room to breathe
Don't follow me
I'm going crazy
Crazy
Crazy
Not up not down not sideways either
I gave away all my love letters
Can't be fettered
Can't be better
I need a little room to breathe
I need a little room to breathe
I need a little room to breathe
I need a little room to breathe
Don't follow me
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Sigra Madison, Wisconsin
music for the sliding scale of nihilism in your brain
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